What each Writing band actually requires

Illustration An essay asked whether museums should charge for entry, answered as a description of one museum.

Museums are very important for everybody in the society. Last year I visit a museum in my city and it was very interesting for me.

Illustration A two-part prompt — why has this happened, and what can be done — where the second half never arrives.

There are many reasons for this situation. Firstly, people are busy. Secondly, prices are high. In conclusion, this is a big problem for everyone today.

Illustration A clear position, and a body paragraph that names an idea without ever unpacking it.

I believe the advantages clearly outweigh the drawbacks.

Another benefit is convenience, which is very important for modern families. Moving on to my second point, the cost is also a factor.

Illustration A point that is stated, taken further, and then given something concrete to stand on.

Charging for entry shifts the cost onto visitors rather than taxpayers. That sounds fair until you notice who stops visiting: school groups and low-income families drop away first, which is precisely the audience a public collection exists to reach.

Illustration Each paragraph closes the idea it opened, and the support is specific enough to disagree with.

The revenue argument holds only if attendance survives the charge. Where entry fees have been introduced and later dropped, the visiting public that returned was not the same one that left — and rebuilding an audience takes far longer than losing one.

Illustration Nothing in the essay is there to fill space: every paragraph answers part of the question, and every example was chosen because it settles something. A reader finishes it with no part of the prompt left open.

Illustration One unbroken block, with the same connector carrying every join.

And also the pollution is bad. And also people drive a lot. And also the government should do something and also the people.

Illustration A paragraph that repeats its own subject because nothing lighter is ever used in its place.

Moreover, the government should build more housing. Moreover, the government has money for this. Moreover, the government must act now because the government is responsible.

Illustration The argument does progress, and the joins between sentences are bolted on rather than built in.

Firstly, city traffic is worse than before. Secondly, this is a serious issue. Thirdly, the government must act on this.

Illustration A paragraph with a single topic, whose sentences follow from one another without being labelled.

Congestion charging works on the traffic it prices, not on the traffic it moves. Drivers who can pay keep driving; those who cannot shift onto buses that are already full. The measure therefore reduces cars before it improves journeys.

Illustration Two paragraphs that hand over to each other, with no connector needed to make the handover visible.

Pricing the road changes who drives, not how many journeys a city needs to make. Those journeys land somewhere else — and in most cities, that somewhere is a bus network built for a smaller crowd.

Illustration You cannot point at the cohesion, which is the point. The reader moves from idea to idea without ever registering the machinery that carried them, and each paragraph break arrives exactly where the thought turns.

Illustration Illustration only — the misspellings below are deliberate.

Polution is a very big problem and the goverment must make a big action for stop it.

Illustration A word reached for in the wrong form, plus a long word spelled by ear.

This is a benefit society for all people, and the enviroment will be more better in the future.

Illustration A less common word attempted, with a pairing that is nearly right.

The rapid growth of cities has made a significant impact on public transport, and many governments have done research about this problem.

Illustration Precise choices doing work a general word could not, with the register held steady.

Congestion is not an inconvenience so much as a tax on time, and it falls hardest on the commuters least able to absorb it.

Illustration The uncommon word is there because it is the accurate one, not because it is uncommon.

The policy does not reduce demand; it reallocates it, and a network already running at capacity absorbs that reallocation badly.

Illustration Nothing in the writing reads as a word chosen to be noticed. Register, precision and natural pairing hold from the first sentence to the last, and where a plain word is the right one, that is the word used.

Illustration Illustration only — the punctuation below is deliberately as a Band 4 script would have it.

The city is very crowded, the buses is always full, people waiting long time and they is angry.

Illustration A simple sentence that holds, followed by a longer one that collapses in the middle.

Public transport is expensive in my country. Although the government say that they will improving the system, but the price is still increase every year which many people cannot affording it.

Illustration The structure is right; the small agreement and article errors survive the proofread.

Although the government has invested in new buses, the number of passenger have not increased, which suggests that price is the real barrier.

Illustration Different structures chosen for different jobs, punctuated so the reader never has to reread.

Had the network been expanded first, the charge might have worked. As it stands, drivers priced off the road arrive at bus stops that were already crowded before the policy began.

Illustration Long and short sentences alternating on purpose, with the punctuation doing the pacing.

What the charge achieves depends entirely on what the money funds. Spent on the network, it buys capacity; spent on general revenue, it buys nothing a commuter can see.

Illustration The grammar stops being visible as grammar. Sentence length, subordination and punctuation are all chosen by what the idea needs, and the only errors a marker could point to are the kind that survive any careful proofread.

Illustration A chart covering four countries, described as though it covered one, and closed with a personal view.

This country is the best one in the graph. In my opinion, the government there is doing a very good job with recycling.

Illustration Six sentences, each carrying one number, and no line anywhere naming the overall pattern.

The graph shows the first country at the start of the period. The graph shows the second country next. After that the graph shows the third country.

Illustration A genuine overview, followed by a detail sentence that misreads the chart it came from.

Overall, spending rose in every category across the period, with transport growing fastest.

Housing also grew steadily, overtaking transport by the end — which is not what the chart shows.

Illustration An overview that commits to a direction and a scale, before the body sorts the data into groups.

Overall, every category rose over the period, but the increase in transport was far steeper than the rest, and housing barely moved.

Illustration Grouped comparison, where each figure quoted is the one that settles the comparison it sits in.

Transport accounted for the sharpest rise of the four, climbing by roughly half again over the period, while housing — the largest category throughout — ended almost exactly where it began.

Illustration Every sentence is doing one of three jobs — summarising, selecting, or supporting — and none of them is doing two badly. A reader who never saw the visual could describe its shape afterwards.

Illustration A complaint to a landlord neither party has met, opened as though it were a message to a classmate.

Hey there! So the heating is broken again, it's really annoying me. Anyway, talk soon.

Illustration Two paragraphs of background, and the actual request arriving in the final line.

I have lived in this flat for some time and I like the area very much. The neighbours are quiet and the shops are close. Could you send someone to fix the heating.

Illustration A formal complaint that is doing its job, with one line that belongs in a different letter.

I am writing to report a recurring fault with the heating in flat 4B, which has now failed three winters running.

Anyway, hope you're keeping well in this weather!

Illustration Purpose in the first line, one consistent register, and a request a reader could act on.

I am writing to ask that the heating in flat 4B be repaired before the end of the month. The fault has recurred each winter since I moved in, and on each occasion the flat has been without heat for several days.

Illustration The request, the evidence for it and the consequence of ignoring it, in a register that never wobbles.

Since the fault has now been reported three times without a lasting repair, I would ask that the boiler be replaced rather than patched again. If that is not possible before the end of the month, I would be grateful for written confirmation of when it will be.

Illustration The letter reads as though a real person wrote it to a real reader for a real reason, and every paragraph moves that reason forward. Nothing in it would have to be explained twice.