Describe a party for a special event that impressed you

Band 6

I would like to talk about a birthday party that really impressVerb form error: should be “impressed” me. It was held last August in the garden of my aunt’s house in Medellin, and it was for my grandmother’s eightieth birthday. It was a surprise, so she did not know anything about it. My cousins and I planTense slip: should be “planned” it for two months, and, erHesitation filler, my aunt cooked a lot of food. About sixty people came, and they were relatives, neighbours and some friends from my grandmother’s church. My aunt decorateTense slip: should be “decorated” the garden with small lights and yellow flowers, because they are my grandmother’s favourite. We also hireTense slip: should be “hired” a small band that played songs from her young days, and everybody danced, even the children. When she arrived, she was very surpriseForm error: should be “was very surprised” and she started to cry. I was really happyBasic phrase; limits Lexical Resource to see her face. After dinner we showed a slideshow with old photos of her, and my uncle makeTense slip: should be “made” a speech about her life. It was a very nice speechBasic wording; “heartfelt speech” is more precise and many people were crying. The party impressed me so much because my family worked hard for it, you knowFiller used as a hesitation marker, and everybody came from different cities only to say thank you to her. I never seeTense slip: should be “had never seen” my family so united before. She told me later that it was the happiest day of her old age. I takeTense slip: should be “took” many photos that night, and I still look at them when I want to feel happy. I think it was the best party in my life.

Band 7

I’d like to talk about a birthday party that really impressed me. It was held last August in the garden of my aunt’s house in Medellin, for my grandmother’s eightieth birthday. It was a surprise, so she had no idea about it. My cousins and I had been planning it for two months, and my aunt cooked enough food for a small army. About sixty people came: relatives, neighbours and a few friends from my grandmother’s church. My aunt had decorated the garden with fairy lights and yellow flowers, which are my grandmother’s favourite, and we’d hired a small band that played songs from her youth, so everybody danced, even the children. When she walked in she was so surpriseForm error: should be “so surprised”, and she burst into tears. I was thrilledPrecise, vivid adjective to see her face. After dinner we showed a slideshow of old photos, and my uncle gave a heartfelt speechNatural collocation about her life that left many people in tears. What impressed me most was how much effort everyone had put inCleft sentence organises the explanation clearly, because relatives travelled from other cities just to thank her. I’d never seen my family so much unitedWord-order slip: should be “so united” before. She told me afterwards that it was the happiest day she’d had in years. I took dozens of photos that night, and I still look at them when I want to feel cheerful. I think it was the best party I’ve ever gone toCollocation slip: should be “been to”.

Band 8

I’d like to talk about a birthday party that really impressed me. It was held last August in the garden of my aunt’s house in Medellin, for my grandmother’s eightieth birthday, and it was a surprise, so she had no idea. My cousins and I had been planning it for two months, and my aunt cooked enough food for a small army. About sixty people came: relatives, neighbours and a few friends from my grandmother’s church. My aunt had decorated the garden with fairy lights and yellow flowers, which are my grandmother’s favourite, and we’d hired a small band that played songs from her youth, so everybody danced, even the children. When she walked in she was completely taken aback, and then she burst into tears. I was thrilled to see her face. After dinner we showed a slideshow of old photos, and my uncle gave a heartfelt speech about her life that left many people in tears. What impressed me most was how much effort everyone had put in, since relatives had travelled from other cities just to thank herCleft sentence plus a past perfect reason clause, accurate throughout. I’d never seen my family pull togetherIdiomatic phrasal verb like that before. She told me afterwards that it was the happiest day she’d had in years, and I took dozens of photos that night that I still look at whenever I want cheering up. I think it was the best party I’ve ever been to, not because it was lavish, but because it was so sincereBalanced contrast rounds off the answer naturally.