Describe a party for a special event that impressed you

Band 6

I would like to talk about a birthday party that really impressErro de forma verbal: deveria ser “impressed” me. It was held last August in the garden of my aunt’s house in Medellin, and it was for my grandmother’s eightieth birthday. It was a surprise, so she did not know anything about it. My cousins and I planErro de tempo verbal: deveria ser “planned” it for two months, and, erHesitação, muleta de linguagem, my aunt cooked a lot of food. About sixty people came, and they were relatives, neighbours and some friends from my grandmother’s church. My aunt decorateErro de tempo verbal: deveria ser “decorated” the garden with small lights and yellow flowers, because they are my grandmother’s favourite. We also hireErro de tempo verbal: deveria ser “hired” a small band that played songs from her young days, and everybody danced, even the children. When she arrived, she was very surpriseErro de forma: deveria ser “was very surprised” and she started to cry. I was really happyExpressão básica; limita o Lexical Resource to see her face. After dinner we showed a slideshow with old photos of her, and my uncle makeErro de tempo verbal: deveria ser “made” a speech about her life. It was a very nice speechExpressão básica; “heartfelt speech” é mais preciso and many people were crying. The party impressed me so much because my family worked hard for it, you knowMuleta de linguagem usada como marcador de hesitação, and everybody came from different cities only to say thank you to her. I never seeErro de tempo verbal: deveria ser “had never seen” my family so united before. She told me later that it was the happiest day of her old age. I takeErro de tempo verbal: deveria ser “took” many photos that night, and I still look at them when I want to feel happy. I think it was the best party in my life.

Band 7

I’d like to talk about a birthday party that really impressed me. It was held last August in the garden of my aunt’s house in Medellin, for my grandmother’s eightieth birthday. It was a surprise, so she had no idea about it. My cousins and I had been planning it for two months, and my aunt cooked enough food for a small army. About sixty people came: relatives, neighbours and a few friends from my grandmother’s church. My aunt had decorated the garden with fairy lights and yellow flowers, which are my grandmother’s favourite, and we’d hired a small band that played songs from her youth, so everybody danced, even the children. When she walked in she was so surpriseErro de forma: deveria ser “so surprised”, and she burst into tears. I was thrilledAdjetivo vívido e preciso to see her face. After dinner we showed a slideshow of old photos, and my uncle gave a heartfelt speechColocação natural about her life that left many people in tears. What impressed me most was how much effort everyone had put inA estrutura clivada organiza a explicação com clareza, because relatives travelled from other cities just to thank her. I’d never seen my family so much unitedErro de ordem das palavras: deveria ser “so united” before. She told me afterwards that it was the happiest day she’d had in years. I took dozens of photos that night, and I still look at them when I want to feel cheerful. I think it was the best party I’ve ever gone toErro de colocação: deveria ser “been to”.

Band 8

I’d like to talk about a birthday party that really impressed me. It was held last August in the garden of my aunt’s house in Medellin, for my grandmother’s eightieth birthday, and it was a surprise, so she had no idea. My cousins and I had been planning it for two months, and my aunt cooked enough food for a small army. About sixty people came: relatives, neighbours and a few friends from my grandmother’s church. My aunt had decorated the garden with fairy lights and yellow flowers, which are my grandmother’s favourite, and we’d hired a small band that played songs from her youth, so everybody danced, even the children. When she walked in she was completely taken aback, and then she burst into tears. I was thrilled to see her face. After dinner we showed a slideshow of old photos, and my uncle gave a heartfelt speech about her life that left many people in tears. What impressed me most was how much effort everyone had put in, since relatives had travelled from other cities just to thank herEstrutura clivada mais uma oração de motivo no past perfect, correta do início ao fim. I’d never seen my family pull togetherPhrasal verb idiomático like that before. She told me afterwards that it was the happiest day she’d had in years, and I took dozens of photos that night that I still look at whenever I want cheering up. I think it was the best party I’ve ever been to, not because it was lavish, but because it was so sincereUm contraste equilibrado encerra a resposta com naturalidade.