Describe a public building you enjoy visiting

Band 6

I want to describe the public library in my neighbourhood in Curitiba, which is a place I really enjoy to visitVerb pattern error: should be “enjoy visiting”. It is about ten minutes from my house, near a small park. I first knowTense slip: should be “got to know” it when I was ten years old because my grandmother bringTense slip: should be “took” or “brought” me there to find books for a school project. At that time I was, erHesitation filler, a little shy, but the librarian was very kind and she showed me the children’s corner. Now the building looks very old and very niceBasic repeated adjectives; limits Lexical Resource. It has a glass front and a high ceiling, and inside there are long wooden tables where people read and study. There are a lot of windows, so the room has good lightBasic collocation; “plenty of natural light” is more precise even in the afternoon. On weekends they also have small events, for example a book club for teenagers and drawing lessons for children. I usually go on Saturday morning and stay since three hoursPreposition error: should be “for three hours”, and I always leave with a good feelingBasic phrase; “a sense of achievement” is more precise. The librarians knowsAgreement slip: should be “know” my name now, so it feels more welcome. I enjoy visiting it because it is quiet and I can concentrate meReflexive error: should be “concentrate” better than at home. Also, I often meet my old school friends there, you knowFiller used as a hesitation marker, and we study together in the same tablePreposition error: should be “at the same table”. When I amTense slip: should be “was” very stressed before exams last year, I went there every day, and it helped me a lot. For me it is not just a building, it is a very good placeBasic phrase; limits Lexical Resource.

Band 7

I’d like to describe the public library in my neighbourhood in Curitiba, which I really enjoy visiting. It’s about ten minutes from my house, near a small park. I first got to know it when I was ten, because my grandmother took me there to find books for a school project. I was quite shy back then, but the librarian was incredibly patientPrecise adjective choice and showed me the children’s corner. These days the building looks old but well maintainedNatural collocation. It has a glass front and a high ceiling, and inside there are long wooden tables where people read and study. Tall windows fill the room with natural light, even in the afternoon. At weekends it also runs small events, such as a book club for teenagers and drawing classes for children. I usually go on Saturday mornings and stay for about three hours, and I always leave feeling that I’ve achieved something. The librarians know me by name now, which makes the place feel even more welcoming. I enjoy going there because it’s so quiet that I can concentrate more goodForm error: should be “concentrate much better” than at home. I also bump into old school friends there, and we usually end up studying togetherNatural linking phrase keeps the account flowing. When I was under a lot of pressure before my exams last year, I went every day, and it was the only place where I felt properly calmAccurate relative clause with a clear qualifier. For me it’s not just a building, it’s a place where I feelsAgreement slip: should be “I feel” at home.

Band 8

I’d like to describe the public library in my neighbourhood in Curitiba, which I’ve enjoyed visiting for years. It’s about ten minutes from my house, tucked away beside a small park. I first got to know it at the age of ten, when my grandmother took me there to find books for a school project. I was rather shy back then, but the librarian was incredibly patient and showed me the children’s corner. These days the building looks old but well maintained. It has a glass front and a high ceiling, and inside there are long wooden tables where people read and study. Tall windows fill the room with natural light, even late in the afternoon. At weekends it also runs small events, such as a book club for teenagers and drawing classes for children. I usually go on Saturday mornings and stay for about three hours, and I always leave feeling that I’ve genuinely achieved something. The librarians know me by name now, which makes the place feel all the more welcoming. What I value most is how quiet it is, which lets me concentrate far better than I can at homeCleft sentence with a relative clause, accurate and natural. I also bump intoIdiomatic phrasal verb old school friends there, and we usually end up studying together. When I was under a lot of pressure before my exams last year, I went every day, and it was the only place where I felt properly at easePrecise, natural collocation. For me it isn’t merely a building, it’s somewhere I feel at home.