Describe a piece of local news that people were interested in

Band 6

I would like to talk about a piece of local news from my city, Kumasi, in Ghana. Last year the city opened a new footbridge over a very busy road near my school, and the whole area was very happyBasic phrase; limits Lexical Resource about it. I hearTense slip: should be “heard” the news first on the radio in my uncle Kofi’s shop, and after that I saw many posts about it on the internet. The mayor sayTense slip: should be “said” that the old bridge had been closed for years after the damage, and the builders finished the new one in six months. A lot of residents had signed a petition for it, and some schoolchildren were at the opening with their teachers. The opening was short, but a band played music and many people took photos on the new bridge. The traders who sell fruit near the road were also happy, because more people now walk past their tables. I think people were very interested because the bridge is makeVerb form error: should be “made” life easier. Before that, erNatural hesitation marker, minor filler, children had to cross the road with the cars and it was very dangerousBasic phrase; limits Lexical Resource, and the other way was a long walk. Now people savesSubject-verb agreement error: should be “save” about thirty minutes every day. Also, many people wasSubject-verb agreement error: should be “were” waiting for this news for a long time, so it was not only a bridge for them. You knowFiller phrase used as a hesitation marker, for a week everybody was talking about it at home and in the market.

Band 7

I’d like to talk about a piece of local news from my city, Kumasi, in Ghana. Last year the city opened a new footbridge over a very busy road near my school, and the whole neighbourhood was delighted. I first heard the news on the radio in my uncle Kofi’s shop, and after that I saw a lot of posts about it online. The mayor announced that the old bridge had been closed for years after it was damaged, and the builders finished the new one in just six months. Many residents had signed a petition for it, and some schoolchildren attended the opening with their teachers. The ceremony was short, but a band played and many people took photos on the new bridge. The traders who sell fruit beside the road were pleased too, because more people now walk past their stalls. I think people were so interested because it made a real difference to daily lifeNatural collocation. Before that, children had to cross the road between the cars, which was dangerous enough for makeVerb pattern error: should be “enough to make” or “so dangerous that it made” parents anxious, and the alternative was a long walk. Now people save about thirty minutes a day, which matters a lot to students and workers. There was also the feeling that a long-awaited decision had finally been takenPassive voice with a precise participle, so it meant more than a bridge to them. For a weekTime phrase links the closing point back to the story, it was the talk of the town, at home and in the market.

Band 8

I’d like to talk about a piece of local news from my city, Kumasi, in Ghana. Last year the city opened a new footbridge over a very busy road near my school, and the whole neighbourhood was delighted. I first heard the news on the radio in my uncle Kofi’s shop, and later I saw a flood of posts about it online. The mayor announced that the old bridge had been closed for years after it was damaged, and the builders completed the new one in just six months. Many residents had signed a petition for it, and some schoolchildren attended the opening with their teachers. The ceremony was brief, but a band played and crowds took photographs on the new bridge. The traders who sell fruit beside the road were pleased too, since far more people now pass their stalls. I think people were so interested because it made a tangible difference to daily lifePrecise, natural collocation. Before that, children had to weave between the cars to cross the road, which was dangerous enough to leave many parents anxiousComplex adjective phrase with an infinitive, and the alternative was a long detour. Now people save about thirty minutes a day. There was also a sense that a long-awaited decision had finally been acted onPassive voice with a precise participle, so it meant far more than a bridge to them. For a week or soNatural vague time marker keeps the register informal, it was the talk of the town, at home and in the market.