Describe a person who is famous in your local area

Band 6

I would like to describe Lucia Mamani, a cook who is famous in Arequipa, the city in southern Peru where I live. She has a small traditional restaurant near my district, and every Sunday she haveSubject-verb agreement error: should be “has” a short programme on the local radio, where she explains old recipes from our region. She opened the restaurant twenty years ago, after she workTense slip: should be “worked” in her aunt’s kitchen as a girl. People like her for some reasons. First, her food is very tastyBasic vocabulary; limits Lexical Resource and it tasteSubject-verb agreement error: should be “tastes” like the dishes our grandmothers made. Second, she is not proud, you knowFiller phrase used as a hesitation marker, she comes out of the kitchen and says hello to every customer. I remember last year my family goTense slip: should be “went” there for my mother’s birthday, and she rememberTense slip: should be “remembered” my grandmother’s name, which surprised us a lot. There is also a queue outside the restaurant at lunch, and some tourists even come from Lima to try her good soupVague adjective; a more precise word would lift the sentence. She also teaches young people from the neighbourhood to cook, erNatural hesitation marker, minor filler, so they can find a job. Last month a journalist from a national newspaper wrote about her, and now more people know her name. When I eat her food, I feel connected with my family and my history. I feel proud that she is from my city, and I am respectingStative verb used in the continuous: should be “respect” her because she keeps our traditions alive. She is a very goodBasic adjective; limits Lexical Resource person and I would like to learn from her one day.

Band 7

I’d like to describe Lucia Mamani, a cook who’s a household name in Arequipa, the city in southern Peru where I live. She runs a small traditional restaurant near my district, and every Sunday she has a short slot on the local radio, where she explains old recipes from our region. She opened the restaurant twenty years ago, after working in her aunt’s kitchen as a girl. There are several reasons why people are so fond of her. First, her food tastes exactly like the dishes our grandmothers used to makeNatural use of “used to” for past habit. Second, she’s completely down to earthCommon collocation, naturally placed: she comes out of the kitchen to greet every customer. Last year my family went there for my mother’s birthday, and she remembered my grandmother’s name, which took us all by surpriseIdiomatic expression with the right tense. There’s often a queue outside at lunchtime, and some tourists even travel from Lima just to try her soup. She also trains young people from the neighbourhood, so they can find work in kitchens. Last month a journalist from a national newspaper wrote a piece about her, so her name is now spreading beyond the city. When I eat her food, I feel connected to my family and to our history. I feel proud that she comes from my city, and I respect her because she keeps our traditions alive. It give meAgreement error: should be “It gives me” the feeling that a small business can matter to a whole community, and I’d love to learn from her one day.

Band 8

I’d like to describe Lucia Mamani, a cook who is something of a household name in Arequipa, the city in southern Peru where I live. She runs a small traditional restaurant near my district, and every Sunday she has a short slot on the local radio, where she explains old recipes from our region. She opened it twenty years ago, having learned the trade in her aunt’s kitchen as a girl. There are several reasons why people are so fond of her. For one thing, her food tastes just like the dishes our grandmothers used to make. For another, she is so unassuming that she comes out of the kitchen to greet every customerResult clause showing control of complex structure. Last year my family went there for my mother’s birthday, and she remembered my grandmother’s name, which took us all by surpriseIdiomatic expression used naturally. There’s often a queue outside at lunchtime, and some tourists even travel from Lima for a bowl of her soup. She also trains young people from the neighbourhood, which gives them a foot in the door of local kitchensNon-defining relative clause with an idiom. Last month a journalist from a national newspaper profiled her, and her name is now travelling well beyond the city. Every time I eat her food, I feel connected to my family and to a shared history. I feel proud that she comes from my city, and I admire her because she keeps our traditions alive. What strikes me most, I think,Discourse marker introducing a considered opinion is that she has shown how a small business can become part of a whole community’s identity, and I’d love to learn from her one day.