Эссе IELTS «проблема и решение» на баллы 6.0, 7.0 и 8.0

Band 6

Nowadays a lot of young people use screens for most of their leisure time, and they meet their friends in person less than in the past. Some people think this is only a normal change, but I believe it causes real problems. This essay will discuss two of these problems and then suggest some solutions.

FirstlyЯрлык, который связывает абзац по месту, а не по мысли, the biggest problem is that young people lose the skill of talking face to face. When they only send messages, they doesn’t learnОшибка согласования подлежащего и сказуемого: должно быть «do not learn» how to start a conversation or how to listen to another person, so they can feel very nervous in real situations like a job interview or the first day in a new class. For example, a student may not know what to say to a new classmate. SecondlyТот же механический ярлык снова, без связи с предыдущей мыслью, many of them sleep badНеверная форма слова: должно быть «badly» because they look at their phones in bed late at night. This is also a serious problem for them, because tired students cannot study well and they are often in a bad mood.

There are some solutions for these problems. Schools can organise more clubs where students work together, for example a sport club or a music groupПо теме, но ничто не объясняет, почему это решит первую проблему. In this way students will practise talking with each other and make new friends. This is a good idea because many students like sport and music. Parents also can put a ruleПорядок слов и сочетаемость: должно быть «Parents can also set a rule» that phones must stay outside the bedroom at night. I think this is easy to do and it will help young people to sleep better.

In conclusion, screens cause many problems for young people, and schools and parents must do something about themЗаключение лишь повторяет вступление и ничего не добавляет. If they do these things, the problems will be solveФорма пассива: должно быть «will be solved» in the future.

Band 7

Nowadays many young people give most of their leisure time to screens instead of seeing friends in person. Although this is often treated as a harmless change, I believe it creates two real problems, and both can be addressed through schools and families.

The first problem is that young people lose the habit of talking face to face. Someone who communicates mainly through messages has little chance to practise starting a conversation, listening carefully or coping with awkward silencesМенее распространённое, естественное сочетание, so ordinary situations such as a job interview or a first day in a new class can feel stressful. The second problem is poor sleep. Many teenagers scroll through their phones in bed, and the bright light and constant notifications make it harder to fall asleep, which then reduces their concentration the following dayОтносительное придаточное связывает причину со следствием без ярлыка.

Schools can respond to the first problem by organising activities that require students to cooperate in personНазвана проблема, на которую даётся ответ, поэтому решение читается как ответ, for example sports teams, music groups or drama clubs. Because these activities depend on teamwork, students have to speak to each other directlyОбъясняет, почему решение подходит к первой проблеме, and over time this builds confidence. The second problem is handled more easily at home. If parents agree a rule that phones stay outside bedrooms at night, young people are more likely to fall asleep quicklyУсловная конструкция употреблена точно, although the rule works only when parents follow it themselves. Together, these two measures address both problems without asking young people to give up their devices entirely.

In conclusion, heavy screen use weakens young people’s conversation skillНет множественного числа: должно быть «conversation skills» and disturbs their sleepТочный глагол для следствия. These problems can be reduced if schools provide group activities and parents set clear limits at night.

Band 8

Young people in many countries now give most of their leisure time to screens rather than to meeting friends in person. This is often dismissed as a generational habit, yet it produces two distinct problems, each of which has a practical remedy that schools and families are well placed to provide.

The first problem is a gradual loss of conversational ability. Messaging allows time to compose every reply, so those who rely on it seldom learn to improvise, to read a pause or to recover from a misunderstandingТочная, экономная формулировка для умения, а не общее слово; the difficulty becomes visible only in situations such as job interviews, where nobody can wait for them to type. The effect does not appear overnight, which is why it is easy to overlook. The second problem concerns sleep. Phones kept beside the bed invite late-night browsing, and the resulting fatigue undermines attention in class the next dayТочные глагол и существительное для следствия.

Each problem has a remedy that matches itОдно предложение переводит читателя от проблем к решениям без связки. Schools can address the first by making cooperation part of ordinary school life: a team sport or a school orchestra cannot function unless its members speak to one another continuouslyРешение развито через показ механизма, а не простым называнием, so conversational confidence is built without being taught as a separate subject. For sleep, a household agreement that devices stay outside bedrooms overnight removes the temptation altogether, and it is most effective when parents follow the same rule, since children copy what they seeДлинное предложение с придаточным и причиной, полностью под контролем.

Screen-heavy leisure therefore weakens both conversation and restЗаключение пересказывает позицию новыми словами и взвешивает её. Because schools can restore the first through shared activity and families the second through a simple night-time rule, the harm is real but far from irreversible, and neither remedy asks young people to give up their devices entirely.