6점, 7점, 8점 수준의 아이엘츠(IELTS) “problem and solution” 에세이

Band 6

Nowadays a lot of young people use screens for most of their leisure time, and they meet their friends in person less than in the past. Some people think this is only a normal change, but I believe it causes real problems. This essay will discuss two of these problems and then suggest some solutions.

Firstly아이디어가 아니라 위치로 문단을 잇는 이름표, the biggest problem is that young people lose the skill of talking face to face. When they only send messages, they doesn’t learn주어와 동사의 수 불일치: 올바른 형태는 “do not learn” how to start a conversation or how to listen to another person, so they can feel very nervous in real situations like a job interview or the first day in a new class. For example, a student may not know what to say to a new classmate. Secondly앞의 아이디어와 연결 없이 같은 기계적 이름표를 반복함, many of them sleep bad단어 형태 오류: 올바른 형태는 “badly” because they look at their phones in bed late at night. This is also a serious problem for them, because tired students cannot study well and they are often in a bad mood.

There are some solutions for these problems. Schools can organise more clubs where students work together, for example a sport club or a music group관련은 있지만 이것이 왜 첫 번째 문제를 해결하는지 설명이 없음. In this way students will practise talking with each other and make new friends. This is a good idea because many students like sport and music. Parents also can put a rule어순과 콜로케이션 오류: 올바른 형태는 “Parents can also set a rule” that phones must stay outside the bedroom at night. I think this is easy to do and it will help young people to sleep better.

In conclusion, screens cause many problems for young people, and schools and parents must do something about them결론이 서론을 반복할 뿐 새로운 내용이 없음. If they do these things, the problems will be solve수동태 형태 오류: 올바른 형태는 “will be solved” in the future.

Band 7

Nowadays many young people give most of their leisure time to screens instead of seeing friends in person. Although this is often treated as a harmless change, I believe it creates two real problems, and both can be addressed through schools and families.

The first problem is that young people lose the habit of talking face to face. Someone who communicates mainly through messages has little chance to practise starting a conversation, listening carefully or coping with awkward silences흔하지 않지만 자연스러운 콜로케이션, so ordinary situations such as a job interview or a first day in a new class can feel stressful. The second problem is poor sleep. Many teenagers scroll through their phones in bed, and the bright light and constant notifications make it harder to fall asleep, which then reduces their concentration the following day관계절이 이름표 없이 원인과 결과를 연결함.

Schools can respond to the first problem by organising activities that require students to cooperate in person답하고 있는 문제를 밝혀 해결책이 대응으로 읽힘, for example sports teams, music groups or drama clubs. Because these activities depend on teamwork, students have to speak to each other directly해결책이 첫 번째 문제에 맞는 이유를 설명함, and over time this builds confidence. The second problem is handled more easily at home. If parents agree a rule that phones stay outside bedrooms at night, young people are more likely to fall asleep quickly조건문 구조를 정확하게 사용, although the rule works only when parents follow it themselves. Together, these two measures address both problems without asking young people to give up their devices entirely.

In conclusion, heavy screen use weakens young people’s conversation skill복수형 누락: 올바른 형태는 “conversation skills” and disturbs their sleep결과를 나타내는 정확한 동사. These problems can be reduced if schools provide group activities and parents set clear limits at night.

Band 8

Young people in many countries now give most of their leisure time to screens rather than to meeting friends in person. This is often dismissed as a generational habit, yet it produces two distinct problems, each of which has a practical remedy that schools and families are well placed to provide.

The first problem is a gradual loss of conversational ability. Messaging allows time to compose every reply, so those who rely on it seldom learn to improvise, to read a pause or to recover from a misunderstanding일반적인 단어 대신 기술을 정확하고 간결하게 표현; the difficulty becomes visible only in situations such as job interviews, where nobody can wait for them to type. The effect does not appear overnight, which is why it is easy to overlook. The second problem concerns sleep. Phones kept beside the bed invite late-night browsing, and the resulting fatigue undermines attention in class the next day결과를 나타내는 정확한 동사와 명사.

Each problem has a remedy that matches it한 문장이 연결어 없이 독자를 문제에서 해결책으로 넘겨 줌. Schools can address the first by making cooperation part of ordinary school life: a team sport or a school orchestra cannot function unless its members speak to one another continuously이름만 말하지 않고 작동 방식을 보여 주며 해결책을 전개함, so conversational confidence is built without being taught as a separate subject. For sleep, a household agreement that devices stay outside bedrooms overnight removes the temptation altogether, and it is most effective when parents follow the same rule, since children copy what they see종속절과 이유를 담은 긴 문장을 완전히 통제함.

Screen-heavy leisure therefore weakens both conversation and rest결론이 입장을 새로운 말로 다시 밝히고 비중을 따짐. Because schools can restore the first through shared activity and families the second through a simple night-time rule, the harm is real but far from irreversible, and neither remedy asks young people to give up their devices entirely.