バンド6・7・8で見るIELTS「agree or disagree」型エッセイ

Band 6

Nowadays many people discuss whether music should be compulsory in primary schools. Some people think it is useful and other people think it is not necessary. In my opinion, I agree with this idea because it help主語と動詞の不一致：正しくは「helps」 children to concentrate, but only in the first years of school.

Firstly「Firstly」と「Secondly」が本論の段落をつなぐ唯一の手段, playing an instrument is good for concentration. When a child learn主語と動詞の不一致：正しくは「learns」 the recorder, he must watch the music all the time, and if he do a mistake動詞の選択と一致の誤り：正しくは「makes a mistake」 the other children hear it. So he learns to concentrate and this is very important for his study. It is also a good habit for the future, and he learns to be patient. Many children have a problem to concentrate in other lessons, so music can help them with this.

Secondly, music is good for cooperation. Also, music is fun for children and they like to do it with their friends. Children play together so they cooperate and this is a good thing for the society論点は挙げているが説明がない。一緒に演奏することがなぜ協力を学ばせるのか、例がない. I beleiveつづりの誤り：正しくは「believe」 this is a big advantage of learning music at school.

However, I think music should not be compulsory for all years. When children are older, they can be forced to play and then they will not like music, and some children stop to go to the lesson. This is not good for them and it is a waste of time in the school.

In conclusion結びの段落を示す唯一の目印で、そのあとは前の内容の繰り返し, music is good for children and it is important in school. I think schools should make it compulsory, so this is my opinion導入で示した低学年だけという限定が消え、立場がぼやける. Music helps children to concentrate and to cooperate, and it is good for them. I hope that schools will think about this.

Band 7

Some people believe that primary schools should make learning a musical instrument compulsory because it helps children to concentrate in other lessons. I agree with this view to a large extent, but I think the requirement should apply only to the early years of primary school立場とその限定が1文にまとまり、読み手がそのまま言い直せる.

The main reason is that playing an instrument trains concentration. A child learning the recorder has to keep their attention on the music for the whole piece自然なコロケーション。「piece」は音楽に合う語, because a mistake is heard by the whole class straight away例の裏にある理由が同じ文の中で示されている. Pupils who have practised this for ten minutes at a time are better prepared to a reading lesson前置詞の誤り：正しくは「prepared for」, since it is the same skill used on different material. Over a term, this repeated effort becomes a habit.

Another reason無理のないつなぎの表現。段落は1つの話題にまとまっている is that music teaches children to cooperate. In a class band, each child’s part sounds incomplete alone, so they must listen to the others and adjust. Over time the group also depends on each child, which gives every one of them a reason to take the lessons seriously. This is a skill that written exercises seldom develop, and it means that even a shy child can feel part of a group by the end of term.

However, I do not think the rule should continue for the whole of school life. Older pupils who are forced to continue may start to dislike music, which would cancel the benefit of the earlier lessons論点全体を受ける関係詞節が正確に使われている. A choice would let those who enjoy music continue, while others could try a different activity. In conclusion, I agree that music should be compulsory in the first years, after which children should be able to choose.

Band 8

The case for compulsory music in primary school rests on what an instrument actually trains. I largely agree that it should be compulsory, because the claim about concentration holds, but I would limit the requirement to the early years主張、理由、限定が1文で答えられている, when habits of attention are still being formed.

The strongest argument is that an instrument demands a kind of attention that few other tasks ask of a seven-year-old特定の年齢層に絞っているため、主張が控えめで正確. A child learning the recorder cannot drift: a note played late is audible to everyone, so the lesson itself corrects a wandering mind. The effect is gradual, but it accumulates over a term. Pupils who have spent ten minutes holding a rhythm are better placed to sit through a reading lesson, since the skill is the same one applied to different material理由が文の中に組み込まれているので、追加のつなぎ表現が要らない.

A second benefit is that music teaches children to work with others. In a class ensemble, each child’s part is incomplete alone, so playing well means listening to the rest and adjusting. The dependence is mutual: the group cannot play without any one of its members, and each child learns that early. This is a lesson in cooperation that a worksheet cannot deliver「This」が直前に述べた1つの明確な内容（アンサンブルの経験）を指している, and it explains why even a reluctant child often values the group performance at the end of term.

The requirement should not continue indefinitely, however導入で予告した限定を、述べるだけでなく掘り下げている. An older pupil forced to continue an instrument may come to resent it, which would undo the very attitude the early lessons built正確で自然。目立つ語は使っていない. Those who enjoy music will continue anyway; those who do not are better served by other activities that build the same habits. Compulsory music in the first years, followed by a choice of their own, therefore seems a defensible arrangement名詞句に分詞句が挟まり、句読点も整っている.