Describe a person you know who likes taking photos

Band 6

I would like to describe my friend Sita, who comeSubject-verb agreement: should be “comes” from Pokhara in Nepal and loves taking photos. We met in the first year of university, when I joined the photography club because I wantTense slip: should be “wanted” to try something new. On the first day I forgot my camera battery, and she lent me her spare one, so we started to talk and soon we became close friends. She takes photos almost everywhere, but her favourite place is Phewa Lake in the early morning, when the mountains are reflected in the water and the lake is, erNatural hesitation marker, minor filler, very quiet. She tellTense slip: should be “told” me once that she waits for forty minutes in the cold just to get the light she wants. She also goes on mountain trails with her camera, and during festivals she walks around the streets and takes pictures of nice thingsVague, basic noun phrase; limits Lexical Resource like lamps and dancers. Last autumn she gave me a small print of the lake, and it is on my desk now. She does not like to pose in pictures herself, she is always behind of the cameraPreposition error: should be “behind the camera”. She also teaches me how to hold the camera and how to think about the picture before pressing the button. You knowFiller phrase used as a hesitation marker, before I met her I never lookTense slip: should be “never looked” at small details, but now I notice them. I feel very thankfulBasic adjective; “indebted” or “grateful for her influence” would score higher to her because she showed me that a simple moment can be very beautifulBasic vocabulary; limits Lexical Resource, and I think she will always be my close friend.

Band 7

I’d like to describe my friend Sita, who comes from Pokhara in Nepal and loves taking photos. We met in the first year of university, when I joined the photography club because I wanted to try something new. On the first day I forgot my camera battery, and she lent me her spare one, so we started talking and soon became close friends. She photographs almost everywhere, but her favourite place is Phewa Lake in the early morning, when the mountains are reflected in the water and the whole lake is perfectly stillAccurate adverb and adjective combination in a coordinated clause. She told me once that she’ll wait forty minutes in the cold just to get the light she wants. She also goes on mountain trails with her camera, and during festivals she wanders through the streets capturing lamps, dancers and street foodSpecific detail instead of a general phrase. Last autumn she gave me a small print of the lake, and it’s on my desk now. She doesn’t like posing herself, so she’s usually behind of the cameraPreposition error: should be “behind the camera”. She also teaches me how to hold the camera and how to think about the picture before pressing the button, and she is extremely patient with beginners like me. Before I met her I never really paid attention to small detailsNatural collocation, but now I notice them everywhere. I feel very grateful to her because she showed me that an ordinary moment can be worth keepingNatural, concise phrase that avoids a basic adjective, and I think we’ll stay friends for many years.

Band 8

I’d like to describe my friend Sita, who comes from Pokhara in Nepal and has a real passion for photography. We met in the first year of university, when I joined the photography club because I wanted to try something new. On the first day I forgot my camera battery, and she lent me her spare one, so we got talking and soon became close friends. She photographs almost everywhere, but her favourite spot is Phewa Lake at dawn, when the mountains are reflected in the water and the whole lake is perfectly stillAccurate adverb and adjective combination in a coordinated clause. She once told me that she’ll happily wait forty minutes in the cold to get exactly the light she wants. She also heads out on mountain trails with her camera, and during festivals she wanders through the streets capturing lamps, dancers and street food. Last autumn she gave me a small print of the lake, which now sits on my desk. She hates posing herself, so she’s nearly always behind the camera. She has also taught me to hold the camera properly and to think about the picture before pressing the button. Before I met her I’d never really paid attention to small detailsNatural collocation, whereas now I notice them everywhere. I feel enormously grateful to her, because she showed me that an ordinary moment can be worth keepingReported-speech structure with a modal used accurately, and looking backNatural discourse marker introducing reflection, that club meeting was one of the luckiest accidents of my university life.