Describe something you saved money to buy

Band 6

I’d like to describe an acoustic guitar that I saved money to buy two years ago. I live in Lagos, and I am wantingForma verbal errada: deveria ser “had wanted” ou “wanted” a guitar since I was fifteen, because my uncle played one every Sunday after church and I loved the sound. My family could not buy it for me, so I decided to save by myself. It takeErro de tempo verbal: deveria ser “took” me about nine months. I worked on Saturdays in my cousin’s phone shop, and I also stopErro de tempo verbal: deveria ser “stopped” buying snacks after class, which was, erMuleta de linguagem usada enquanto se procura a próxima ideia, quite hard because my friends always went to the cafe. Every month I put the money in a small tin box under my bed and I counted it again and again. In the sixth month my phone breakErro de tempo verbal: deveria ser “broke” and I almost useErro de forma verbal: deveria ser “used” the money to fix it, but my uncle said I must wait. I wanted the guitar because music helps me relax after a long day, and also I wanted to play songs with the group from my church. When I finally had enough money, I went to a music shop near my university with my uncle, and he helped me choose a goodAdjetivo básico; limita o Lexical Resource one. I felt very, very happyIntensificador básico repetido no lugar de uma palavra precisa when I carried it home. I didn’t sleptErro de forma verbal: deveria ser “didn’t sleep” much that night because I playErro de tempo verbal: deveria ser “played” until my mother told me to stop. I think saving for it was a good experienceExpressão vaga; limita o Lexical Resource, because now I take care itPreposição ausente: deveria ser “take care of it” very carefully. Now I play it at church on Sundays, next to my uncle, and I am very proud when people listen.

Band 7

I’d like to describe an acoustic guitar that I saved up for two years ago. I live in Lagos, and I’d wanted a guitar ever since I was fifteen, because my uncle played one every Sunday after church and I loved the sound. My family couldn’t afford to buy it for me, so I decided to put money asideColocação natural para guardar dinheiro myself, and it took me about nine months. I worked on Saturdays in my cousin’s phone shop, and I gave up buying snacks after class, which was harder than I expected because my friends always went to the cafeComparativo com oração de motivo, usado corretamente. Every month I’d drop what I’d earned into a small tin box under my bed and count it again and again. In the sixth month my phone broke and I was tempted to spend the money on a new screen, but my uncle told me to hold on, so I did. I wanted the guitar because music helps me unwind after a long day, and I hoped to play along with the group from my church. When I finally had enough, I went to a music shop near my university with my uncle, who helped me pick out a really nice oneAdjetivo geral e seguro; uma palavra mais precisa ampliaria a variedade. I felt incredibly proudPalavra de sentimento mais forte e mais precisa carrying it home. I hardly slept that night because I kept playing until my mother told to meErro de ordem das palavras: deveria ser “told me” to stop. Looking back, saving for it made me appreciate it more than if someone had simply handed it to meA oração reflexiva liga o esforço ao sentimento, and I look after it very carefully, so it’s still in a perfect conditionErro de artigo: “in perfect condition” não leva artigo. Now I play it at church on Sundays, right next to my uncle.

Band 8

I’d like to describe an acoustic guitar that I saved up for two years ago. I live in Lagos, and I’d had my heart set on one ever since I was fifteen, when my uncle started playing his every Sunday after church. My family couldn’t afford to buy it for me, so I decided to put the money aside myself, and it took me about nine months. I worked on Saturdays in my cousin’s phone shop and went without snacks after class, which was harder than I’d expected, given that my friends were always at the cafeComparativo com oração causal, controlado e natural. Every month I’d drop what I’d earned into a small tin box under my bed and count it again, as if it might have multiplied overnight. In the sixth month my phone broke and I was sorely temptedColocação precisa que mostra uma verdadeira luta interna to spend the money on a new screen, but my uncle urged me to hold on, and I’m glad I did. I wanted the guitar because music helps me unwind after a long day, and I hoped to play along with the group from my church. When I finally had enough, I went to a music shop near my university with my uncle, who helped me pick out one with a warm, full soundDescrição específica no lugar de um adjetivo geral. I was over the moonExpressão idiomática de grande alegria carrying it home. I hardly slept that night because I kept playing until my mother had to come in and ask me to stopExpressão narrativa natural, com o tempo verbal certo. Looking back, what I value most is not the guitar itself but the months it representsEstrutura clivada que dá um ponto final claro, which is probably why I still treat it with such care. Now I play it at church on Sundays, right next to my uncle, and being listened to feels like a reward I earnedExpressão compacta e natural que ecoa o tema do esforço.