6점, 7점, 8점 수준의 아이엘츠(IELTS) “discuss both views” 에세이

Band 6

In the modern world, people have different opinions about how children learn best. Many parents also ask this question when their children start school. Some people think that outdoor play is better, but other people think that books and games inside the house are more useful. In my opinion, I think both are important, but playing outside is more important.

FirstlyFirstly와 Secondly가 본론 문단 사이의 유일한 연결 표현, many people say that playing outside is good for children. When children play in the enviroment철자 오류: 올바른 형태는 “environment”, they can run and jump and this is good for the health. They can also see nature and breathe fresh air. Also, they learn to play with other children. For example, a group of children make a house from branches and they work together. This is a good experience for them.

Secondly, other people think that children should stay inside and read books or play educational games. Nowadays children have many games on the computer and some of them are good. They say that books give children knowledge and this is important for school. Children can read about many things in the books and this is useful아이디어를 언급만 하고 설명하지 않음, 책이 놀이와 달리 무엇을 가르치는지 보여 주는 예가 없음. Also the games is주어와 동사의 수 불일치: 올바른 형태는 “the games are” good for the mathematics.

However, I think playing outside is more important for small children. They need to do friends동사 오류: 올바른 형태는 “make friends” and they are too much young어순 오류: 올바른 형태는 “too young” to sit for a long time. When they are older, books will become more important.

In conclusion결론 문단임을 알리는 유일한 신호, 이어서 앞의 요점을 반복함, both views have some good points and children need both kinds of learning. I think outdoor play is more important, as I said before결론이 서론을 반복하고 순서에 대한 새로운 이유가 없음. It is a difficult question but I think it is true.

Band 7

People disagree about how children learn best. Some believe that playing outdoors teaches more, while others argue that time indoors with books and educational games is more useful. Each view has some truth, so the answer depends on what is being learned. I think both matter, but outdoor play matters more for young children의견을 독자가 그대로 되풀이할 수 있는 한 문장에 담음.

Supporters of outdoor play point out that children learn physical and social skills there. When a group builds a shelter from branches, they have to agree who does what, and they find out for themselves which branches will hold자연스럽고 구체적인 표현이 예를 분명하게 만듦. This kind of learning by testing is difficult to copy in a classroom, and it teaches children to cooperate and to solve problems by their own표현 오류: 올바른 형태는 “on their own”. They also get exercise, which helps them to sleep and to concentrate later in the day.

On the other hand두 번째 견해로 넘어가는 지점을 알리고 문단이 그 견해를 유지함, supporters of indoor learning argue that books give children knowledge that play does not supply. A child who reads a story about the sea meets words and facts that no playground would offer, and structured games can practise numbers and spelling in a way that holds attention. Reading also builds the patience needed for longer tasks. Even so, this knowledge is easier to absorb when a child already has experience to attach it to양보 뒤에 “when” 절이 이어지고 정확하며 의견으로 되돌아옴.

For these reasons, I believe outdoor play should come first for young children. Parents and teachers should therefore protect time outdoors, especially in the early years. A child who has built, climbed and argued with friends reads about those things with more understanding의견을 반복하지 않고 이유로 뒷받침함. In conclusion어울리지만 신호로는 약간 과하게 쓰임, the two views are not opposed, because indoor learning builds on what outdoor play begins.

Band 8

Children learn in different settings, and the real question is what each setting teaches best. Each view contains a real truth, and the disagreement is mostly about order. I take the view that outdoor play matters more for young children, while accepting that books supply something play cannot의견을 한 문장에 밝히면서 다른 견해를 인정하고 그에 답함.

Those who favour outdoor play are right that it teaches skills that cannot be handed over in words. When a group builds a shelter from branches, it must agree who does what and discover, by failing, which branches will hold정확한 동사와 간결한 표현. That kind of learning“That kind of learning”이 쉼터라는 하나의 분명한 대상을 가리킴 is difficult to stage in a classroom, because the consequences are real: a roof that collapses teaches more quickly than any warning against it. Physical effort has a second benefit: a child who has spent an hour running tends to settle more easily afterwards.

Advocates of indoor study make an equally serious point. Books and structured games give children a vocabulary and a store of facts that no playground supplies정확한 명사, 각각 실제로 얻는 것을 말함. A child who has read about the sea meets tides, currents and unfamiliar words that conversation among friends will rarely produce, and a well-designed number game can practise skills that unstructured play leaves untouched병렬 구조, 균형이 잡히고 정확함. Neither of these gains is trivial, and a school day without them would be poorer.

The two are not equals at every age, however의견을 논증함: 순서는 아이의 나이에 따라 달라짐. A child who has built, climbed and argued with friends reads about those things with understanding, whereas reading that comes first has nothing to attach itself to. Outdoor play should therefore come first, with indoor learning building on what it begins분사구로 의견을 깔끔하게 마무리. Parents can act on this by protecting outdoor time in the early years and adding structured reading as the child grows.