Describe a special cake you ate or made

Band 6

I would like to talk about a lemon cake with poppy seeds that my mother bakeTense slip: should be “baked” for my graduation in July 2023. It is not normal for her, because she is a very good cook, but she cookSubject-verb agreement error: should be “cooks” only meat and rice and I never seeTense slip: should be “saw” her make a cake in my life. After, I knowVerb choice: should be “found out” that she tried three times in the last two weeks and the first cake was very blackBasic phrasing; limits Lexical Resource on the bottom. We ate it in our garden in the afternoon with my aunt, two cousins and my grandfather, and we wasSubject-verb agreement error: should be “we were” sitting at a table under the apricot tree. She put some thin pieces of lemon on top and a few mint leaves from the pot near the kitchen door. HonestlyNatural discourse marker introducing a personal comment, the cake was a little dry, but nobody said anything, and I remember she was very happyBasic phrasing; limits Lexical Resource when she brought it. It was special for me because of her effort and her nervous face, and on a day with many congratulations she wanted to say it in her own way.

Band 7

I’d like to talk about a lemon and poppy-seed cake that my mother baked for my graduation in July 2023. It isn’t something she would normally do: she’s an excellent cook, but she makes savoury food, and I’d never seen her bake a cake in my whole life. I found out afterwards that she’d practised three times in the previous fortnight and that the first attempt had come out almost black on the bottom. We ate it in our garden that afternoon, with my aunt, my two cousins and my grandfather gathered around a table under the apricot treeNatural, vivid collocation, and she’d decorateVerb form error: should be “decorated” it with thin slices of lemon and a few mint leaves. To be honest, the cake was slightly dry, but nobody mentioned it, and I can still picture how proud she looked when she brought it out. It was special because it wasn’t really about the tasteContrastive structure introducing the reason but about the effort and nerves behind it, and I think, on a day full of congratulationsNatural noun phrase, she wanted to say it her own way.

Band 8

I’d like to talk about a lemon and poppy-seed cake that my mother baked for my graduation in July 2023. It isn’t something she’d normally do: she’s an excellent cook, but her talent is for savoury food, and in all my life I’d never seen her bake a cake. I found out afterwards that she’d practised three times in the previous fortnight and that the first attempt had come out almost black on the bottom. We ate it in our garden that afternoon, with my aunt, my two cousins and my grandfather gathered around a table under the apricot tree, and she’d decorated it with thin slices of lemon and a few mint leaves. Honestly, the cake was slightly dry, but nobody mentioned it, and I can still picture how proud she looked when she brought it out. What made it special wasn’t the taste at all but the effort and the nerves behind itCleft sentence with a clear contrast, and, on a day full of congratulations, she’d chosen to say it in a way that was entirely her own.