Describe a happy person you know

Band 6

I would like to talk about my aunt Amina, who is the younger sister of my mother. She lives in Mombasa in Kenya, and she has a small tailoring shop near the old town. She opened it fifteen years ago and now three women worksОшибка согласования подлежащего и сказуемого: должно быть «work» there with her. She is very happy personПропущен артикль: должно быть «a very happy person», I think, and everybody who knowОшибка согласования подлежащего и сказуемого: должно быть «knows» her says the same. She is warm and talkative, and she is also very generous. She laughОшибка согласования подлежащего и сказуемого: должно быть «laughs» loudly, and the laugh is so big that people in the street turn their heads, you knowФраза-паразит, используемая как заминка. While she is sewing, she sings old songs, and sometimes my cousins is dancingОшибка согласования: должно быть «are dancing» around the shop with her. She greets every customer by name and she often bringОшибка согласования подлежащего и сказуемого: должно быть «brings» snacks for the neighbours. If somebody has a problem she always stops her work to listen, and she never says that she is too busy. I think she is happy because she is content with what she has. She does not compare herself with other people, erЕстественная заминка, некритичное слово-паразит, and she spends time with her family every day. She also says thank you for small things, like a good meal or good weatherПростая лексика; ограничивает Lexical Resource. Even on difficult days she tells jokes, and the customers go home smiling. The neighbours say that the street feels quiet when she travels. When I am with her I feeledОшибка формы глагола: должно быть «feel» relaxed and I forget my worries. She is a very goodПростое прилагательное; ограничивает Lexical Resource example of a happy person.

Band 7

I’d like to talk about my aunt Amina, my mother’s younger sister. She lives in Mombasa, in Kenya, and she runs a small tailoring shop near the old town. She opened it fifteen years ago, and now three women work there with her. She’s one of the most cheerful people I knowЕстественная превосходная степень с определительным придаточным, and everybody who meets her says the same. She’s warm, talkative and very generous. She has a big laugh, and it’s so loud that people in the street turn their heads. While she’s sewing she sings old songs, and sometimes my cousins dancesОшибка согласования: должно быть «dance» around the shop with her. She greets every customer by name and often brings snacks for the neighbours. If someone has a problem she’ll stop whatever she’s doing to listen, and she never says she’s too busy. I think she’s happy because she’s content with what she hasИменное придаточное с «what», использованное точно. She doesn’t compare herself with other people, and she spends time with her family every day. She also counts her blessingsИдиоматичное выражение, использованное естественно, thanking people for small things such as a good meal or a cool breeze from the sea. Even on difficult days she tells jokes, and customers leave the shop smiling. The neighbours say that the street feels quiet when she travels. When I’m with her I feel relaxed and I forget my worries, which I think says a lotСвязующая фраза, добавляющая личный комментарий. She really is a living example of what a positive outlook can do.

Band 8

I’d like to talk about my aunt Amina, my mother’s younger sister. She lives in Mombasa, in Kenya, and she runs a small tailoring shop near the old town. She opened it fifteen years ago, and three women now work alongside her. She’s one of the most cheerful people I knowЕстественная превосходная степень с определительным придаточным, and everybody who meets her says the same. She’s warm, talkative and exceptionally generous. Her laugh is so loud that people in the street turn their heads, and while she’s sewing she sings old songs, so my cousins often end up dancing around the shop with herПричастный оборот, естественно употреблённый после «end up». She greets every customer by name and regularly brings snacks round for the neighbours. If someone is struggling she’ll put down her scissors to listen, and she has never once said she was too busy. As for why she’s happy, I think it comes down to the fact that she’s content with what she has. She never compares herself with other people, she spends time with her family every day, and she counts her blessingsИдиоматичное выражение, использованное естественно, thanking people for small things such as a good meal or a cool breeze from the sea. Even on difficult days she cracks jokes, and customers leave the shop smiling. The neighbours say that the street feels quiet when she travels. Honestly,Дискурсивный маркер, вводящий личное размышление when I’m with her I feel relaxed and my worries seem to melt awayИдиоматичный фразовый глагол, использованный естественно. She is living proof of how much a positive outlook can change an ordinary dayАбстрактная именная группа со сложным дополнением.