Describe a person you know who would like to work in the medical field

Band 6

I would like to talk about my cousin Selam, who lives in Addis Ababa in Ethiopia. Our mothers are sisters, so I know her時制の誤り：正しくは「have known her」 all my life, and we was主語と動詞の不一致：正しくは「were」 together every school holiday when we were small. She wants to become a children’s doctor, a, er自然な間、気にならないつなぎ言葉, paediatrician. Now she study時制の誤り：正しくは「is studying」 hard for her final school exams because she hopes to go to medical school. On Saturdays she also helps at a small clinic near her house, where she gives out forms and plays with the children in the waiting room. Sometimes I visit her there, and I can see that the children really trust her. She started to think about this career when she was twelve years old. Her little brother Dawit had a high fever and stayed in hospital for one week. Selam sit時制の誤り：正しくは「sat」 next to his bed every afternoon, and she saw a young doctor who talked to Dawit very gently and made him laugh. After that day she told everybody that she will be間接話法の時制の誤り：正しくは「would be」 a doctor like him. I think she wants this career for two reasons. First, she is very good at science基本的な言い回しで、Lexical Resourceの評価が伸びない, especially biology. Second, she wants to help people, and in my country doctors get big respect不正確なコロケーション：「a great deal of respect」のほうが自然. You know間を埋めるつなぎ言葉として使っている, she is also very patient person冠詞の抜け：正しくは「a very patient person」, so I am sure she will be a good doctor. I am proud of her, and her plan makes me think about my own future, because I do not have a clear idea yet.

Band 7

I’d like to talk about my cousin Selam, who lives in Addis Ababa in Ethiopia. Our mothers are sisters, so I’ve known her all my life, and we spent every school holiday together when we were small. She’d like to become a paediatrician, which means a doctor for children. At the moment she’s working hard for her final school exams so that she can apply to medical school「so that」を使った目的の節を、正確に使っている. On Saturdays she also helps at a small clinic near her house, where she gives out forms and plays with the children in the waiting room. Sometimes I visit her there, and I can see that the children really trust her. She first started to think about this career when she was twelve. Her little brother Dawit had a high fever and spent a week in hospital, and Selam sat beside his bed every afternoon. She noticed a young doctor who spoke to Dawit very gently and even made him laugh, and from that day she told everybody she was going to be a doctor like he代名詞の格の誤り：正しくは「like him」. I think there are two reasons behind her choice. Firstly, she’s gifted at science「very good」の代わりに使った的確な形容詞, biology especially. Secondly, she genuinely wants to help people, and on top of that説明の流れを整える、つなぎの表現 doctors are highly respected where we live. I’m proud of her, and I’m sure she’ll be a good doctor because she’s remarkably patient自然な強調語と的確な形容詞の組み合わせ, even with difficult people. Her plan also makes me think about my own future, because I don’t have such a clear idea yet.

Band 8

I’d like to talk about my cousin Selam, who lives in Addis Ababa in Ethiopia. Our mothers are sisters, so I’ve known her all my life, and we spent every school holiday together as children. She hopes to become a paediatrician, and she’s currently working hard for her final school exams so that she can apply to medical school. On Saturdays she also helps at a small clinic near her house, where she gives out forms and plays with the children in the waiting room. Whenever I visit her there, it’s obvious that the children trust her. The idea first took hold when she was about twelve話の出発点を導く慣用的な言い方. Her little brother Dawit had a high fever and spent a week in hospital, and Selam sat beside his bed every afternoon. She noticed a young doctor who spoke to Dawit very gently and even made him laugh, and from that day she told everybody she was going to be a doctor like him. I think there are two reasons behind her choice. For one thing, she has a real gift for science「is good at」の代わりに使った自然なコロケーション, biology in particular. For another, she genuinely wants to help people, children above all, and, as a bonus, doctors are highly respected where we live. I’m proud of her, and I’m convinced she’ll be a caring doctor, because she’s remarkably patient, even with people who are difficult後置修飾の句で、的確で柔軟な結びになっている. Honestly, her certainty makes me reflect on my own future, since I haven’t settled on a direction yet.