Describe a new law you would like to see introduced

Band 6

I would like to talk about a law that I want in my country: everybody who rideErro de concordância verbal: deveria ser “rides” an electric scooter must wear a helmet and use the cycle lanes. The idea comeErro de tempo verbal: deveria ser “came” to me last spring, when a man on a scooter without helmet went across the road near my university and almost hit a bus. He was okay, but I can not stopErro de tempo verbal: deveria ser “could not stop” thinking that it could be much worse. In my city these scooters are very popularFormulação básica; limita o Lexical Resource for students and delivery riders, but the rules are not erHesitação natural, pequena muleta de linguagem ready for this. The law would apply for riders of every age and also for the companies that give the scooters, because they must give helmets and explain the rules at the beginning. The government should also run a short campaign before the law starts, so that people hear about it first. I think it is goodAdjetivo básico; limita o Lexical Resource for the country, because fewer accidents means less problemsErro de concordância e de substantivo contável: deveria ser “fewer accidents mean fewer problems” for hospitals, and a small change like this can protectFalta o “would”: deveria ser “would protect” a lot of people, especially students, who ride very fast near the university gates.

Band 7

I’d like to talk about a law I’d introduce in my country: a rule that everyone riding an electric scooter must wear a helmet and keep to the cycle lanes. The idea came to me last spring, when a rider with no helmet swerved across the road outside my university and narrowly missed a busCollocation precisa e natural. He was fine, but I couldn’t stop thinking about how easily it could have gone the other way. In my city these scooters have become very popular in a couple of years, mostly among students and delivery riders, and the rules haven’t really caught up with themPresent perfect com um phrasal verb idiomático. The law would apply to riders of every age and to the companies that provide the scooters, who would have complyFalta o “to”: deveria ser “have to comply” with it by giving out helmets and explaining the rules. The government should also run a short campaign before the law starts, so that people hear about it first. I think it would benefit the whole countryMarcador claro de opinião que responde à parte do “explique”, because fewer accidents mean less pressure on hospitals, and it’s a small change that could protect many people.

Band 8

I’d like to talk about a law I’d introduce in my country: a rule that everyone riding an electric scooter must wear a helmet and keep to the cycle lanes. The idea came to me last spring, when a rider with no helmet swerved across the road outside my university and narrowly missed a bus. He was fine, but I couldn’t stop thinking about how easily it could have gone the other way. In my city these scooters have become hugely popular in just a couple of years, mostly among students and delivery riders, and the rules haven’t really caught up. The law would apply to riders of every age and to the companies that provide the scooters, who would have to give out helmets and explain the rules when someone first uses one. The government should also run a short campaign before the law starts, so that people hear about it first. It would benefit the whole country, not only the ridersEstrutura contrastiva que enuncia o benefício com clareza, because fewer accidents mean less pressure on hospitals and fewer drivers who have to live with a near miss. Frankly, it’s a small change that would protect a lot of peopleFrase final natural e confiante.